Maid Pippa

Pippa grew up in a quiet town just on the outskirts of the bustling city, where she lived a quiet and relatively normal life. Every week she would rush to the local fishmonger to listen to yet another new story from a family friend about his life on the sea to catch the trophy of the week. Pippa, who has never come close to the sea yet alone on a raft, was constantly in awe of the adventures he went on, desiring such thrills in her own relatively mundane life. With various influences from pieces of pop-culture, she knew she wanted to become the world’s greatest pirate! Not long after this decision she began to train in the ways of a pirate with the help of her newfound (perhaps unwilling) fishmonger teacher. Pippa, ever confident with her own abilities, slept through any lessons regarding actual sailing advice (She was resting her eyes to make sure they were adjusted to the night, that’s all!) focusing on only the more ‘Pirate-y’ tasks (You know, the fun stuff!) such as singing shanties and marking maps with a giant “X” to show where she stored her treasure (her snack trove). This continued day in and day out where she would train in the ways of a pirate; No one had it in their heart to inform her that what she was doing were indeed not pirate-related activities.

She journeyed far and wide, stealing and plundering treasure (buying collectibles) and fighting fearsome enemies (her family reenacted sword fight scenes with her using sticks in place of swords) and she was the happiest she’d ever been; being a pirate was everything that she dreamed it would be! It wasn’t long before she had amassed a whole novels worth of stories from her travels as an up and coming pirate, such as the time she battled a terrible sea monster unarmed (a goose attacked her whilst she was riding in a pedalo in the park), or the time when she met a friendly siren that lived on a rock in the middle of the ocean (a busker dressed in a mermaid costume) and especially the time when her map lead her to the rarest treasure she had ever seen (she found a mint condition first edition “The Killing Joke” comic in an old comic book shop).  Pirate Pippa was definitely now a household name (her local sweets shop knew her name)!

Despite travelling across the seven seas (a long day at the nearby city mall), Pippa was not satisfied. She felt lacking in something… pirate-y… like…like a CREW! Every pirate needed her own strong and reliable lackey- friends. Friends… something Pippa never had due to her outrageous personality in their quiet town. Surely such a task was easy for someone as COOL as she is! Packing her bag full of her beloved treasures (a box of cereal) she set off into the city to find herself a crew!

Pippa, overwhelmed by the large crowds of the city where her triumphant bellows for a worthy crew to join her had been ignored or met with indifference, decided to tactically retreat back home (she was hungry and had no money). On her way, she bumped into a green haired individual, hearing the clangs of a bottle right before one broke right onto her lap. Her last memory was hearing a soft spoken “Oh no” before she fell unconscious. Her dream was full of glorious adventures; cheers for Pippa as she sat on her throne surrounded by gold. This was everything Pippa wanted right until she was woken up suddenly by a splash of a sweet tasting concoction, surrounded by unfamiliar faces, including the one she had bumped into earlier.

Taking in her surroundings, Pippa realised she was in a beautiful mansion with people and beings she’d never seen before – was she sent into an alternative universe (she was not)? Realising that this was a perfect opportunity to recruit, she cleared her throat and introduced herself;

“Ahoy mateys, do you want to join my crew?”